Wednesday, August 18, 2010

Velocirap-Tour 2010 --- Week Three

Independence Hall - Philadelphia, PA
Friday 7/23
We were quick to leave Staten Island, and NYC in general, after the show. Melora opted to park their trailer at the ferry terminal and head into Manhattan. They ended up having a wild night with no sleep and showed up in Allentown looking like zombies with a flat trailer tire and some good stories. We chose to head towards Philadelphia to get in some sightseeing there the following day. Friday’s show is actually in Allentown, PA but Philly is a short drive and much more interesting, hence the detour. We made it as far as Trenton, NJ before fatigue set in. We grabbed a cheap room in a Bates-esque motel where Mike promptly broke the air-conditioner. Contrary to popular belief amongst Floridians, it gets equally hot just about everywhere in July so this made for a miserable, almost malarial night. We woke up pretty early and ate breakfast at a Wawa, which we all nominated as the greatest convenience store in the US.We got into Philly at about 11am and promptly sold a CD to a random guy at a gas station. Philly already rules! Several locals strongly suggested we get cheese steaks from Tony Luke’s so we headed there next. I had never eaten there, but I know that any mom and pop neighborhood spot is going to have a better steak than any of the big tourist-y places. The popular demand for a famous spot won out this time though…We all agreed that although it was better than anything we can get within 1,000 miles of home there was room for improvement. We vowed to hit a locals only place next time we were in town. As a side note, I (Jason) had given up eating mammals and had not done so for three months prior to the tour. I knew this situation would eventually present itself and, like any Philly native worth his salt, I caved for this one special occasion. I have since maintained my discipline. After sampling the native cuisine we did a walking tour of the downtown area including South Street, Independence Hall, Center City, and Broad Street. Philly is an awesome town with a good mix of history and modern amenities. Easily one of our favorite places on the whole tour…

When we began our sight seeing expedition, we expected to be in Allentown by 8PM, but we got a call at 3PM saying the show had been moved up to accommodate a bigger act and that we had to be there immediately. We hauled ass to Allentown only to discover that they had gone back to the original plan. This is the first sign that the Croc Rock is going to suck for us. It turns out there are three separate stages within the Croc Rock and all three were hosting simultaneous shows. We were playing the smallest stage in the basement. Not only were we forbidden from promoting our show on premises, but there wasn’t even a sign by the stairs to the basement that said “show downstairs”. We got the impression that the Croc Rock does not give a damn what is going on in the smaller rooms and goes out of their way to sweep these shows under the rug to maximize attendance at the largest stage. Also beware the many rules, tight security, and horrendously over priced beer (even for bands). As a result of all of these issues and a lack of promotions by the “promoter” attendance was pretty awful. One of the locals was a pop punk band that supposedly drew alright, thereby justifying their presence. As far as we can tell they brought two people not in the band. The other local was Dionaea, who brought a handful of people. Attendance aside, they absolutely killed it. Hands down the most creative band we played with on the whole tour. Lots of technical ability and melodic flair… Check them out immediately! After the show we grabbed a cheap hotel and pondered over our string of recent bad luck.
Seen on the way to Allentown. Is there any other way to read this?


Saturday 7/24
We had an uneventful day of promoting (sending out flyers for our upcoming FL shows, getting in touch with Philly people, etc) at a Starbucks in Bethlehem, PA. We spent a few hours taking advantage of their clean bathroom and free internet before making the short trip to north Jersey. The road is very scenic as it passes through the Lehigh Valley and the Pocono Mountains.
George, the promoter for the Staten Island show, lives right by Club XXXV and he kindly offered all of us a good time at his place complete with cold beers, hot dogs, and some Frisbee action. The lot next to his house is an ancient, dilapidated cemetery. The most recent grave I could find was from 1924, but most were from the 1800s. We took advantage of the creepy atmosphere and got some good pics.

We arrived at the venue late and the first band was already playing. We are the most punctual death metal band of all time, so this was a strange occurrence for us. Club XXXV is a strip club with a venue for bands called the Player’s Lounge on the roof. This means all equipment must be hauled up and down a claustrophobic set of stairs and staged outside prior to load in. This also means everyone has to deal with strip club security, i.e. massive dudes with anger issues. There’s a decent stage and a good PA here, but we encountered several issues that made this the worst sound of the tour for us. *A side note on monitors: we are a technical band. This means our music is VERY challenging to play even in ideal circumstances. If we can’t hear each other on stage things get ugly real quick. Ideally, if there are stage monitors we can hear each other just fine. If there are not, we position one or both of the guitar amps directly behind Mike so he knows what’s going on. This usually works out OK.* In this instance, there were no monitors so we would have put the amps behind Mike. However, there was an acrylic drum shield on stage preventing us from setting up in this way. Supposedly, it’s there to keep sound from escaping into the bustling strip club below. In all actuality, it is doing nothing. To get technical, low frequencies are the ones that transmit through walls and floors while high frequencies just bounce around inside the room. The shield only stops high frequencies thereby having no effect on the club below. All it did was make it impossible for us to hear on stage. We got three songs in and our set was an absolute train wreck so I knocked it over and repositioned my amp behind the drums. The sound guy promptly ran onto the stage and said we could put the shield back up or get off the stage. We opted to keep playing and see what happens. He never shut us down so it was a minor victory for us I guess. Even though there was a $20 cover and there were plenty of people at the show we didn’t get paid. Imagine the promoter that books metal shows at a strip joint in Jersey and you get the idea…We left the venue depressed and angry (easily our angriest night of the tour) to look for a hotel somewhere between the venue and Philly. Everything was sold out or overpriced so we drove to the venue and fell asleep in the car for an hour in the parking lot of a nearby grocery store.


Sunday 7/25
Fear not, intrepid reader! There is a good show on the horizon! I’ll get to that momentarily... We were awakened at dawn by a parking lot re-surfacing crew and forced to find a new place to crash. Too tired to make a rational decision we drove around for over an hour before deciding to head to Fairmount Park. This is where they keep the art museum and other highly cultured things. We pulled into a shady spot under a tree and got some more sleep. Eventually, as often happens, the Earth rotated and left us in the sun. When the heat became unbearable we got up to explore the park. There are hundreds of statues scattered across the premises, especially near the museum which is an impressive structure. We ran up the steps of the art museum and stood triumphant at the top. We then laid down in the grass beside the Schuylkill River and enjoyed a pleasant breeze until such time as we could check into a hotel and get some actual sleep. On the way to the hotel we stopped and grabbed another cheesesteak at a place called Jim’s that was much better than the one we had previously.

The Rusty Nail is actually located in Ardmore, PA which is one of the nicer suburbs of Philly along the Main Line. It’s weird to find a dive bar that supports metal in this neighborhood, but it’s there. We can definitely recommend the Nail to touring bands. There is a small PA that we used for vocals only and no stage monitors. However, it sounds pretty decent in the room and if you are capable of running the simple PA the bands keep every penny from the door. Just be sure to communicate effectively with the owner and staff, it seemed like a weak point. There was some confusion as to the cover and ages allowed but everything worked out OK in the end. This was easily one of the top shows in both turnout and talent. The local bands Lethean and Doomsday Machine Schematic were not only incredible, but actually brought some people out. We managed to bring some people too. The majority of my (Jason’s) family is based in the Philly suburbs so my aunt, uncle and two cousins came out. To our surprise (and maybe theirs as well) everyone had a great time. The only downer of the night was when we were the target of a drive-by donut attack. Dennis was struck soundly by a donut traveling at no less than 35 mph and the little punks were gone before we could do anything about it. Why waste a perfectly good donut? This show was a much needed morale boost after a string of bad luck. Philly is a metal town and it seemed like people genuinely cared about music a little more than most of the other cities we played in. We retired to our hotel room feeling much better than we had in days.

Live in Philly!

The Culprit

The 'N Friends cracked us up.

Monday 7/26

Armed with a toll avoiding back roads map of the mid-atlantic supplied by my grandfather, we began our ten hour drive to Jacksonville, NC. The drive was pretty uneventful but thankfully seemed to pass pretty quickly. The only pictures we got on the way were of the welcome signs in the various states we passed through as we officially reentered the south. We arrived in Jacksonville (which seems like the most isolated city in NC btw, it’s like 110 miles from any interstate), checked into a fleabag motel, and met up with the Stabbing Eden dudes at a sports bar where we attempted to promote the show, but mostly just drank. Stabbing Eden are our kind of people with a good sense of humor and just the right amount of awkwardness to make for a good time. Look at the pic below and you can imagine we got along swimmingly.


Tuesday 7/27

We woke at a leisurely hour and ate brunch at a Golden Corral with our Stabbing Eden buds. We then headed to the Jacksonville mall where the promoter had arranged for us to have an in store appearance at the Hot Topic. There was an awkward moment when the promoter wasn’t there and none of the staff were expecting us. Surprisingly, they still let us move around their shelves and set up our merch table in the middle of the store. They even let us put our CDs on kind of loud. It’s surreal to walk through the mall and hear Choking A Sloth from several stores down. Eventually the promoter showed up and things got less weird. We mostly sat at the table in shifts harassing passers-by while the rest of us terrorized the mall. Amazingly, we sold a little merch and gave more away including a shirt and a CD to an adorable eleven year old girl/metalhead. Kids are great fans. They genuinely like music for what it is because they haven’t yet been corrupted by trends and scenes. We wish all ages shows were more common, but with most venues also being bars they are pretty uncommon in our experience. We also got a few people to come out to the show.

For a Tuesday night, the show wasn’t terrible at all. The Orleans House is directly opposite the entrance to Camp Lejeune, so Marines are coming in to drink and pick up girls regardless of who is playing. The stage was huge and the sound system substantial. There was a really low cover (like $2) so people were happy to pay it even if they weren’t super excited about the bands. We played in front of a handful of people who were interested and quite a few who didn’t give a damn. Usually in situations like this we try our hardest to confuse and frighten the regular patrons and this show was no exception. The diehards get a kick out of this too, so everyone has a good time. We actually made some money at the

door and sold some stuff at Hot Topic earlier in the day so Jacksonville ended up being a good halfway point on our journey from PA to FL. The show ended fairly early so we spent a good bit of time hanging out in the parking lot with the guys and took the opportunity to get individual pics of everyone on the tour. Three weeks in we were starting to get pretty rough, but we were all pumped enough to do another three weeks, easily.


Wednesday 7/28

We hit the road for Jacksonville, FL pretty late. It’s weird that we played two shows in a row in a city called Jacksonville. This drive was a little shorter than the last, almost 8 hours. It’s a very boring drive with not much in the way of scenery or

cities, but again it went by pretty fast. I attribute this to the fact that we had several Ipods, a laptop with working internet, and lots of pictures to take at all times. About the only thing along the way of any interest is South Of The Border. They have an entire store that is full of nothing but hats from around the world! Of course we stopped and took more pictures here than we took anywhere else, with the possible exception of Niagra Falls. I think this speaks volumes about the kind of people we are.

It was strangely sad and yet a relief when we crossed the state line into FL for the first time in three weeks. We arrived at Alex’s sister’s house to stake our bed claims then met up with the Stabbing Eden guys again at a local bar. Yes, we even spent our off nights in bars. Then we watched Stepbrothers before bed, which was a great idea because it made us all foul mouthed insult machines the next day.


Interesting men in Jacksonville.

Thursday 7/29

The lack of sleep is starting to catch up with us by this point in the tour. We didn’t get up until after 1pm and then just sat around in front of the TV while doing some online promoting. We got to Endo Exo and found that the show had been moved inside because of the threat of bad weather. The inside room already had another event scheduled later that night so that meant we had to cut everyone’s sets short and haul ass between bands. Despite the surprise, the show turned out pretty well. Nymphomancer and Capracide were the two Jax locals and they brought a good crowd and absolutely killed it. We had a decent turnout as well. The many months of playing shows all over FL are starting to pay off and we see more people every time we play out of town. Special thanks to our friends in Jax bands that couldn’t play for coming out to support. The room was narrow, but deep and this made the crowd look twice as big as it actually was, which was fun. By the time we played, people had started to show up for the later event, which was an open mic rap battle thing hosted by a DJ. Amazingly, some of them hung out for our set so we went out of our way to get them involved. We like to think they had a pretty good time with us crazy white boys and I think Mike even got hit on. The other touring bands remarked that we played our best set yet and seemed to be in our element. Maybe it is good to be home…Endo Exo is the place to play in Jacksonville, especially in the summer. Definitely hit them up if you’re in a band looking to book in Jax. Doozer’s Pub is also cool because the bands run the PA and the door and keep all of the money, but it is un-airconditioned which makes it unplayable in the summer. After the show we retired to Alex’s sister’s house to sleep and dream of getting back into our own beds.

Friday 7/30

Again, we awoke after 1pm and hit the road to Tampa. Along the way we stopped in Orlando to unload our luggage, use our own bathrooms and re-familiarize ourselves to our now feral pets. Rejuvenated by the stop, we continued to roll down the I-4 corridor. Despite our many weekend trips to Tampa we had never played at the Pegasus Lounge. It actually turned out to be pretty nice. There’s a decent stage and a real PA. Another good spot to play because the house doesn’t take anything from the door, which is pretty rare. We got to play with some of our best buds on this stop. Sorcerer, Eating Infinity, and Must Not Kill are all good friends and amazing bands. They brought a good crowd and we did alright for ourselves. Again, we were in our element and had a good show in spite of Alex’s various technical difficulties. We even tried something new, trading instruments for a song. It sounded like hell to us, but we don’t think anyone in the audience knew the difference. After the show we had an after party in the parking lot where shenanigans ensued. Eager to sleep in our own beds for the first time in nearly a month, we drove home that night.

Epic Facial Hair

Epic Combover

Saturday 7/31

It was weird to be home and we all remarked that we were a little thrown off by normal life. We had grown accustomed to living out of a bag and traveling every day. Without the travel and promotions that had been filling our time up to this point we didn’t know what to do with ourselves. We got to Liquid Scrips way too early, mostly in a bid to feel like we were doing something with the day. Alex set up the PA and got some inspirational Journey tunes going while we waited for the show to start. Liquid Scrips is awesome. It’s our regular joint in our home town, just minutes away from our practice space. We were eager to get the show started so the other bands could experience our home town and watch some of our best band buddies in the whole world, Abdomen Canvas, tear it up. The show turned out to be incredible. Our friends and families came out in droves and really made it a special one. Combine that with Abdomen Canvas’ draw and it was a huge show, the biggest local show we’ve seen in a while. It was really nice to see some familiar faces and get some moral support. It can be brutal on the road and a good homecoming was key to boosting morale.

After the show we lingered for a long time, hesitating to say goodbye to some awesome friends. We had been with the Melora guys 3.5 weeks straight and we had been through quite a lot of ups and downs together. We had been with Stabbing Eden for only eight of the shows but had bonded quickly, and they too felt like brothers. After trading some merch and getting a few group pictures Stabbing Eden hit the road for New Jersey, Melora began their trek back to Dallas, and for us the tour was officially over. We dumped all of our equipment in the practice space and went home.


Tuesday, August 3, 2010

Velocirap-Tour 2010 --- Week Two

Friday 7/16
We got up early enough to make the five hour drive to Chicago and allow for some sight seeing once we got into town. The trip was pretty uneventful. Any stereotype you’ve ever heard about Illinois being nothing but flat cornfields is true. The only thing that broke up the scenery at all was a wind farm with huge white windmills like you see on TV. We don’t have those in FL so it was interesting to us. As is often the case, our best laid plans went out the window when we hit bumper to bumper traffic about 30 miles outside of downtown Chicago. Our five hour drive became six and a half real quick. It’s frustrating to try to get a picture of the Chicago skyline from the car that does it justice. It’s just too big to fit in one picture and give a sense of the scale. We finally pulled into downtown and drove along Lakeshore Drive. The traffic was still horrendous so we saw Lake Michigan, the Natural History Museum and the Navy Pier from the car. We decided to head inland to find parking so we could go to Willis Tower and take some sweet pics. One incredibly stressful hour later we gave up on trying to park a trailer in downtown Chicago. We headed for the venue to park and find some Chicago style pizza, which we assumed would be plentiful, on foot. Two hot hours later we gave up on that and ate fast food at one of the places you only see in big cities that has everything from burgers to gyros to tacos at the same place. We did get some good pics from the car, but we’d classify our Chicago tourist experience as a failure. It’s just too much to take in over the course of an afternoon. The Metal Shaker is the first venue that we can’t recommend to potential touring bands. Avoid this place like the plague. A list of issues: the PA sucks, the sound guy appeared to be a crackhead hired off the street with ABSOLUTELY no knowledge of sound (Alex and I are professional engineers so we are qualified to make this statement), equipment is loaded into a filthy basement and has to brought up and down a dangerous staircase, the neighborhood is dangerous (we witnessed domestic violence in the apartment above the venue and the drummer of one of the local bands was physically assaulted right in front of us), the bartender was incredibly rude and quite probably coked up, there were drug deals witnessed inside the venue (real drugs, not pot), the venue changed their payment policy one week prior to our playing there (we had arranged a $7 cover, which they changed to an optional $5 donation which obviously hurt us financially), the stage manager was completely inept and changed the lineup four times before the show even started, seemingly at random, etc…In short, never book or attend a show here if you value your safety and property. The local bands (especially the now defunct Erjony) were talented and brought a handful of people, but we never really hit it off personally. I would attribute that to the misery the venue inflicted on all of us. On the plus side, we did have several friends come out that supported us emotionally through the ordeal and bought some merch. We were fortunate to be offered a place to crash and proceeded to drown our sorrows in 60 cans of the champagne of beers with our gracious host.Saturday 7/17
It’s about five hours from Chicago to Detroit so we got up way too early considering the sun was already up when we went to sleep. We passed through a little slice of Indiana and made our way into Michigan. Western Michigan is very nice with rolling hills, vineyards, and abundant farms and trees. I imagine most of Michigan is this way and the whole state just gets a bad rap because of Detroit. There was no time (or desire) for sightseeing so we drove straight to the venue. We didn’t really take any pics in Detroit. As you might suspect, it’s not the most photogenic city in America. We did see this hilarious road sign on the way…The Belmont is a nice little gem in an otherwise beaten down neighborhood. We had two local bands drop off (we found out second hand…thanks douche bags!) of this show in the week leading up to it, so we had low expectations for turnout and money. However, one local band did not screw us over. Teratoma brought a decent amount of people and showed us a really good time. We knew this up front, but the venue requires a 30 person draw before the bands get paid. When we had three locals lined up we weren’t really concerned, but when two bands dropped off without notice this stipulation became impossible. We ended up selling one CD for our worst financial performance to date. We did meet someone who randomly discovered us on Myspace and came out to the show as a result so that was pretty cool. After two bad shows in a row we were in a hurry to get the hell out of Detroit, so we drove most of the way to Toledo and got a hotel room and some much needed rest.

Sunday 7/18
We woke up at a leisurely hour and grabbed breakfast at a Bob’s Big Boy near the hotel. As we were checking out the guy at the register was like “Are you guys in a metal band?” So we said yeah expecting something along the lines of “Oh, my nephew plays in a band and they are really heavy like Linkin Park, but with a positive Christian message.” We get that a lot on the road. Instead he says “Yeah, my son is the singer for Enfold Darkness.” So of course we were like “Next time you see him tell him Quarter The Villain said his ‘stache is epic.” We were disappointed to find out that the ‘stache had been shaved two days prior. He seemed genuinely interested so we left a sticker to hand off to his son next time he’s in town. We then sat in a Starbucks in Toledo for like five hours using the internet to catch up on some much neglected promotional stuff. The Revolution is a house in Toledo where they throw donations only house shows. We’d recommend it if you’re in the neighborhood and feel like you can sell some merch (we did alright). The donations totaled to be $11 for both of us touring bands to split so don’t count on a lot of door money. Danny and Zooey were very helpful and we appreciated it. They also let bands crash there and that can be a total life saver. We definitely took advantage of that. The show was fun and everyone in Toledo was exceptionally nice, all told a pretty decent show. We partied with Melora all night. Pan-fuckin-tera!Monday 7/19
We had to leave the Revolution by 8AM so we decided to make our way to Pittsburgh early enough to get in some sightseeing. Since we were so close to Canada, we decided to grab breakfast at a Tim Horton’s because you don’t see those every day. Apparently, Canucks love this place. It’s like a Dunkin Donuts with a little more variety. In an attempt to spread Canadian culture there were pictures of Sidney Crosby on the wall, which made me want to burn the place down. At least the hash browns were fucking delicious. We then made the impressively scenic drive to Pittsburgh and got there about 6 hours before the show, as usual. The venue was on Carson St. and if you don’t know the area well, Carson St. is block after block of bars, eateries, and cool little shops. We spent some time looking around before heading back to the Smiling Moose. It’s a pretty cool place with the downstairs dedicated to drinking and projecting movies and the upstairs dedicated to drinking and listening to bands. Our original drummer Santino lives in the ‘Burgh and he met us out there and hung out all night, which was a whole lotta fun. The show wound up starting about an hour and a half late for some reason and the crowd consisted of a few of our friends and the local bands girlfriends. It kinda sucked. We tried to make the best of it though, mostly by drinking. Afterwards, we and Melora all stayed at the guitar player from the Sarlacc’s house. Pan-fuckin’-tera Part-fuckin’-two!Tuesday 7/20
Today was an off-day so we decided to get up early and drive up to Niagra Falls. On the way we stopped at a beach in a town called North East, PA on Lake Erie. Why isn’t it called North West? Look it up on the map, this makes no sense. The beach was covered in large rocks and boulders and the water was murky. Like the fish we found on the beach says, “Remember kids, smoking kills”. Niagra Falls is simply beautiful. We’ll let the picture do the talking. We didn’t get to go over to the Canadian side since we don’t have our passports, but even so it was a highlight of the trip. We spent a few hours there, took a tour and then decided to make our way to Rochester and grab a hotel since it was only about an hour and a half away.


Wednesday 7/21

Rochester weather is awesome in the summer! We woke up to cloudy skies and cool temperatures. By mid afternoon there was a light drizzle and the daytime high reached a comfortable 69 degrees. Too bad the winters are so brutal…We made our way to downtown where the venue is located and did some sight seeing, then took the 15 minute drive to Lake Ontario. Kodak is based in Rochester and the story is that you can develop pictures in Lake Ontario lake water. Maybe it’s just an urban myth because the water was clear and there was no smell. I did find a volcanic rock on the shore, a piece of pumice, which seemed strange given the geologic history of upstate NY. We got to the venue way early and hung out. The Bug Jar is a very nice place with interesting art and sculptures, decent sound, and a nice bar. We had booked one local band for this show and at 10PM we gave up on them showing up and just started the show. We still haven’t heard a peep from them. Thanks for the heads up douche bags! Another bad show, we played in front of four people that weren’t in Melora. However, they were four really cool people. One guy was from Montreal, so he knew his tech metal and we had some good conversations with him. He found us in the local entertainment paper. We posted EVERY show of the tour in no less than two, but as many as four local entertainment papers. As far as we know this is the only person to show up as a result of that work. The owner of the bar was very apologetic for Rochester’s showing, to the point of buying us a round of drinks. He strongly suggested we come back soon and let him handle the band booking so we don’t get screwed over again. We definitely recommend the Bug Jar if you have a chance to play in Rochester. We spent the night with a friend and got to witness yarn being spun from freshly harvested Angora rabbit fur.


Thursday 7/22
Staten Island sucks and is a black hole from which we were lucky to escape. Worst city of the tour. We will gladly never return here again. Congratulations Staten Island, Detroit is nicer than you. Manhattan, we’re still cool but you need to ditch your least famous borough buddy before all of New York gets a bad name. It cost us almost $30 in tolls to get into this dump too! Tonight was the first night with Stabbing Eden, and it was really cool to finally meet the guys. Here’s Jerry ten seconds before a batcave from Jessie. A good time was had in spite of the fact that the biggest drawing local was a no call/no show and we played for Melora and Stabbing Eden. We were intended to play before the local, but since they weren’t there we played last and everyone had gone home at that point. Two nights in a row with shitty local bands dropping off with no warning... We’re keeping a list of people to never work with again and it’s growing every day. George, the promoter (Brutal Shore Booking) is not on this list. He did a great job and hooked us up with a little gas money. Thanks George! What a bad stretch, we’re kind of glad this week is over. Good sight seeing all week, though! Part three is coming soon!

Friday, July 16, 2010

Velocirap-Tour 2010 ---Week 1


Wednesday 7/7

We left the greater Orlando area at about noon to embark on our epic journey. The first stop on the tour is Houston, TX which is our longest drive of the entire tour. We’re glad to get it out of the way early so everything else seems easy in comparison. It was a mercifully uneventful drive. The trip out of Florida is so incredibly tedious. It seems like it takes forever, but then you hit Alabama, Mississippi, and Louisiana in quick succession. That’s when the drive gets more interesting and starts to go a little quicker. We made it as far as New Orleans after about fourteen hours or so. It shouldn’t take that long, but we’re taking it slow on the highway to save gas and avoid attention. The trailer with FL tags and covered in band stickers is a likely target for law enforcement. We grabbed a cheap hotel and rested up. After last year’s roadside fiasco the uneventful trip was appreciated.


Thursday 7/8

After a quick breakfast stop at Starbucks we were on the road to Houston by about 11AM. Western LA is full of swamps and rice paddies. We listened to Clutch a lot because it seemed appropriate for the landscape. We stopped at a sweet rest stop just past the Texas state line and got some good photos. It seems like Texas is constantly trying to prove how badass it is, even at rest stops and gas stations. We pulled into the neighborhood where the venue was located at about 5PM. Fitzgerald’s is a really nice place in what seems to be an artsy neighborhood. There’s a huge upstairs stage that they open for national acts and a smaller stage downstairs. Our particular show ended up being on the smaller stage. We’d recommend Fitzgeralds to any band thinking of going to Houston. We grabbed a bite at a nice little local restaurant and met up with Melora at about 7PM. After many exchanges of hetero man love we kicked off the show. The local bands that we played with were really nice and hilarious guys and a good time was had by all. Unfortunately, the turnout was abysmal. The manager for the night was clearly disappointed, but made it clear that we would be welcome to come back because of our promotional efforts from out of state (listing the show in several entertainment papers, mailing posters, and an intense online attack). We did sell some merch and made friends with the guys in Sever The Silence and The Nephilim Terror, so we weren’t too bummed. Besides, we got to play a show in Houston, TX! We decided to hit the road to Austin after the show and grab a cheap hotel room out in the country.

Friday 7/9

Hwy 71 between Katy, TX and Austin, TX is a really nice drive. The terrain starts to get hilly and you begin to see mesquite trees, cacti, and wild antelopes. For the first time on the trip we really felt like we were in a new place. We pulled into downtown Austin at about 1PM and parked so we could walk around and be tourists. We hit 6th street and it lives up to its reputation as a live music hotspot, but we were there too early for any bands to be playing. It seemed really over commercialized and touristy though. Most of the locals seemed to agree. They go to 6th St. about as often as us Orlando-ites go to I-Drive. The coolest part was definitely the Texas state capital building. If you’re willing to go through a metal detector you can walk right in and take pictures and look at oil portraits of long dead dudes with epic facial hair. At about 7PM we went to scope out the venue, which turned out be not in the downtown area at all. In fact it was in one of the roughest neighborhoods we ever played in. We parked in an empty lot next to Club 1808 and were promptly swarmed but crackheads and other beggars in various states of coherence. It was so bad that one of the locals that got there before us took one look at the neighborhood and left, never to return. We didn’t find out what happened to them until the next day. We toughed it out though and the venue turned out to be fairly decent on the inside. Huge thanks to the two locals that did stick around! They will let anyone book here, but be aware of the neighborhood! It was another terrible turnout between the neighborhood scaring people off and a local band disappearing. We didn’t even make enough to cover the sound guy expenses. The owner of the club was a cool guy though and gave us some token gas money and invited us back, again because of our promotional efforts, even though they didn’t pay off. We stayed with some friends in Austin and had a great time after the show. It was hard not to get bummed after two weak shows, but hey, we played a show in Austin, TX!

Saturday 7/10

Finally, a KICKASS show! We’ll get to that later though. The drive from Austin to San Antonio is short and pleasant. There are little German and Czech towns along the way and some nice hilly terrain with impressive views (impressive for Floridians anyway). We pulled into downtown San Antonio at about noon and parked at the venue. Bond’s 007 is in the heart of San Antonio, immediately on the river walk. It’s a two story place with a good size stage upstairs and a sweet bar downstairs. The PA is way too loud for the room, but sounds good. Definitely try to book here if San Antonio is on you itinerary. We left to explore the river walk, which is

incredible. Then we made our way to the Alamo. We all had this mental image from Pee Wee’s Big Adventure that the Alamo is in the barren desert miles from anything. Not so! It’s smack in the middle of San Antonio. They built the city around it apparently. There’s so much history there, it’s hard to not be impressed. San Antonio is a beautiful town, definitely the nicest place we’ve been to so far. After being tourists for a few hours we went back to the venue to get loaded in, etc. This show was fantastic. The local bands put on a great show and worked hard to promote. Crown of Abaddon and Eradication are really good bands that should be checked out. Do it now! The promoter, Gore Growler (Aaron) did a stellar job of promoting. He’s probably the best promoter we’ve ever worked with. Huge thanks to him for taking care of us. After the show everybody hung out way too long and there was much exchanging of inebriated man hugs. When we finally (sadly) left we stayed with some exceptionally nice friends. We really needed this night to go well to boost morale after a couple of bad ones. We miss you already San Antonio!


Sunday 7/11

This was our second time playing in Dallas. Dallas has been good to us show-wise, but we seem to hit a patch of bad luck here for some reason. We spent an hour looking for a clean bathroom, found out about a band dropping off of a future show and then some of us got sick. We didn’t even have time for sight seeing because of the five hour drive from San Antonio. The show was great though. It was Melora’s CD release show, so they had a lot of family and friends show up to support. There was a really good turnout. We even had a few people come out for us. Lizard Professor blew our minds and were awesome dudes, so check them out right now! The other local bands were total pros too, which made for a really successful show. Our performance was weird, the first half of the set was a train wreck, but the second half was nearly flawless. It’s good to know we can turn things around. After the show we played with adorable kittens at Stephen from Melora’s apartment.




Monday 7/12

After Dallas, we hit the road to Shreveport. The drive went by quickly and nothing really eventful happened aside from us figuring out exactly how long it took for Mike to fall asleep in the car. We headed straight for the Shreveport Boardwalk to look around, take some pictures and otherwise kill time. 5 days into the tour we all seem to be just really tired. After visiting a cool fountain and looking in at the Science Center we decide to head

to the venue to see what’s up. It turned out that we were playing in Keithville about 20 miles south of

the Shreve in a cowboy bar. The place was cool but redneck as fuck and we were a little unsure of how the show would turn out. Fortunately our boys from Cancer Whore showed up and what apprehension we had was soon washed away, until we got a call from Melora saying their trailer blew out a tire. As the night went on more people came in, Melora made it with plenty of time to spare, and we had a lot of fun hanging out with some old friends. That show was definitely in the “win” column.



Tuesday 7/13 and Wednesday 7/14

Our first day off on the tour. We left Shreveport around noon and decided to drive through Arkansas and up into Southeast Missouri to stay with my (Alex) parents in my hometown. We figured it would be a good picture day and would stop off at the scenic areas and just have a grand ole time. What we didn’t realize is that the stretch of highway we traveled was a void of

anything worthwhile. We stopped in Texarkana and debated about whether or not Mad Max was filmed there. 10 hours (and many conversations about how awful Arkansas is) later, we arrived in Cape Girardeau, ate some sammiches, and I took the guys on a beer tour of the downtown.

The next day we got up to go see “Predators” which was badass and not all at the same time. Still trying to figure that one out. Later my parents took us out to dinner at the country club. You know what’s more awkward than four metal guys hanging out in the company of old, stately people? Not much. It turned out that everyone there was impressed with how well-mannered, charismatic, and downright awesome we were to care about what we looked like. Yeah, we break stereotypes. After dinner we went back downtown to drink and meet up with a sorority my mom works with (score!) and wound up getting fucking hammered and had a pool party.



Thursday 7/15

After a very late night we woke up partially hung over and completely exhausted. It took until about 2PM for us to get out the door and on the road. The drive into St. Louis on I-55 is impressive. The road is cut into the hills surrounding the city and there are sheer cliff faces of granite and red sandstone lining the road. This is the most rugged terrain we’ve encountered so far. We pulled into downtown St. Louis at about 5PM and went straight to the arch. We got some killer pictures of the arch and the museum under it. Unfortunately, the wait to take the elevator to the top was too long for us to go up. I (Jason) was really looking forward to this, it was going to be one of the tourist-y highlights of the trip for me. Bummer. The Way Out club is right on the edge of downtown St. Louis. It’s decorated nicely with vintage alcohol ads and pin-up art. They play retro porn and weird ass x-rated 70s movies on the TVs. It’s not really known as a metal venue, but they took good care of us and had a good time with the show. I would suggest getting in touch if you play in STL, but keep on top of them on a weekly basis, communication was not a strong point. We had one of the locals drop off of this show the night before, but the turnout was still pretty decent. Quare Verum and The Gorge were incredible bands and did an excellent job of getting people to come out on a week night. It was refreshing to play with some math rock bands instead of straight death metal. After the show, we crashed at singer from Quare Verum’s house with Melora. It was actually the first night we all crashed together so far. A good time was had by all.

Another win, the bands and venue in STL were extremely hospitable. We’re batting a pretty good average so far...